Jewish Jokes for Parshas Vaeira

THE RED TEAM AND THE GREEN TEAM

This week’s Torah portion describes seven of the Ten Plagues. I would like to focus on the first two.

The very first plague that G-d inflicted on the Egyptians was the plague of dam, blood, when all the water in Egypt turned into blood. This had two consequences:

1. It affected the parenting of the Egyptians. Let me explain. The Egyptian parents had a very liberal approach to parenting, basically allowing their children to do whatever they wanted. There was only one thing that they were strict about: water fights. Why be so strict with water fights?
BECAUSE THEY WERE AFRAID THAT THEY WOULD TURN BLOODY!

2. It caused the Egyptians to drink much more than usual? Why did the Egyptians drink so much during the first plague?
BECAUSE THEY WERE A BLOOD-THIRSTY PEOPLE!

The second plague was the plague of tzfardaya, most commonly translated as frogs. The frogs went all over the place. The frogs went into people’s hats. The frogs went into people’s shirts. The frogs even went into people’s slippers. This inspired Dr. Suess to write a children’s book called FROGS IN CLOGS!
Finally, the frogs went into the main Coca Cola plant in downtown Cairo. The frogs scaled the high walls surrounding the Coca Cola plant and headed straight for the humongous vats of Coca Cola. The workers at the plant had no idea that the soda was full of frogs. The poured the frog-filled soda straight from the vats into bottles. When the Egyptians opened their bottles of Coke, frogs started jumping out. When Coca Cola found out about this, they immediately changed their slogan. The new slogan went like this: “DRINK CROAK, ENJOY LIFE!”

By Yankel Moskowitz

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